March 29, 2010 - The Ace of Cups

This is tax season.  Bad news seems to come with the territory.  Last year I had multiple heart attacks and bypass surgery and I paid a bunch in taxes.  This year no heart attacks thankfully but still a hefty tax bill.  So finances were on my mind when I asked my question this morning and what came up was a card about emotions and love.  Hmmmmm.


Joan Bunning writes that when this card comes up, love is the essence of the situation.  I've been reading Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything and exploring how my relationship with food mirrors my relationship with the world.  I'm not a binger so there's much in it I don't get, yet I've had a life of weight issues and know at the core is something deeper than cut down calories and exercise more, as great as that advice is.  I'm still working on understanding my relationship with food and love or lack of love, food and fear, food and control but I suspect it's not just food that's my issue.  I come from a long line of shoppers and women who live at their financial edge.  I know my feelings about life and love, about the generosity of the universe, about my lovability and the people I love, are all part of this deep core understanding of the world which I'm just beginning to touch the edges of.  


The Ace of Cups is all about getting in touch with your feelings and letting your heart lead the way.  It asks you to open, to express your deep feelings.  It is also a card about developing your intuition, trusting your inner voice, responding to messages from within, experiencing a direct knowing (something I need a lot of work on these days, getting to know that small still voice within).  


The Ace of Cups is also about falling in love and experiencing intimacy.  You develop a relationship, get close to someone, go to a deeper level.  It just may be, as trite as it sounds, that it is time to learn and love myself.  I chase relationships.  I cling to friendships when they are obviously done.  I am sure I am not worth knowing and so when people leave, when friends drift, when lovers move on, I take it as a confirmation of what I already know.  It's a familiar story, an old story for me, and yet it doesn't make it any less true or powerful.  No wonder I cling to food as the only love I can count on.  


The Ace of Cups is also about proceeding with love, forgiving and forgetting, responding sympathetically.  I am just as deserving and just as hungry for that love, for that forgiveness, for that understanding as anyone.  It may be time to give to myself after giving so much to others out of love but also fear.  The Ace of Cups is a perfect card for getting to the crux of why I am where I am and what I can do about it.  It also tells me that it's possible, that the seeds are sown.  I just need to tend them and have patience.  The tending I can do; the patience I will have to work on.  


According to the Jane Austen Tarot, the Ace of Teacups is a card of opening to the power of love.  It is depicted by a steaming teacup atop the novel Emma.  Emma is an intelligent young woman who doesn't pay attention to her heart.  She's headstrong but not heartsmart and the novel reveals her awakening to her own deep feelings.  I will also add that Emma is prepared to limit her life to please her father and to care for him.  She thinks it's either/or.  I am a lot like Emma in that way.  It is hard for me to see how to lead an emotionally fulfilling life and do my duty.  They seem mutually exclusive although I suspect, they are not.  The Ace of Teacups presages the opening of the querent's heart by love and with love, for love.  


As for what it means for me, well, I'll keep you posted.