Not much energy today after an interrupted night. I suppose I could wonder and worry about why this time change seems to have brought me back to a place before 2003, a place of night wakings and noctavigant wanderings. It was an expectant time, desperate but hopeful. Something had to give and it did, when I least expected, something I never imagined. But there seems to be little point these days in why, in reasons. Life is what it is. Sometimes I sleep. Sometimes I don't.So, given my tired, altered state, the Ace of Pentacles is an interesting card. It's a real world card, forcing you out of your head and heart, asking you to be embodied, to live in the material world, to be fully present. It's also a card of prospering, of enjoying abundance, of flourishing, of experiencing growth. It asks you to be practical, to be realistic, and to proceed with trust, feeling safe and protected, knowing you are safe and protected. This latter part is hard for me. The people I trusted I don't, not with my heart, not anymore. I am not sure I'm a good judge. Or maybe it has nothing to do with good or bad but instead is understanding the ebb and flow, the sometimes and sometimes not, knowing nothing lasts but the gift is in finding the next heart to open to and to open.
In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Ace of Coins is depicted by a Jane Austen headed coin topping the novel Sense and Sensibility. The title actually says everything about this Ace, good sense over sensitivity/sensibility. I lost myself in feelings and emotions and paid a terrible price. It may be wiser to be more cautious with myself, be sensible Elinor as opposed to romantic and reckless Marianne. Both love, but one survives, one nearly doesn't. I'd rather survive I think.
I'm going to hope sleep rejuvenates me. I'll keep you posted.
No comments:
Post a Comment