March 2, 2010 - The Two of Swords

The Two of Swords is a card of barriers. You are afraid to let things in or out. Maybe you've been hurt. Probably you've been hurt, maybe badly even. So you close yourself off, let little in, let little out. This kind of reserve is certainly understandable. You trust less, give less, afraid one hurt will be followed by another and another.

The Two of Swords says you are blocking your emotions. Maybe you're denying your true feelings -- anger, sorrow, love -- holding others at arm's length. Maybe you're avoiding the truth, afraid to look at the facts, choosing not to know. It could be you're afraid to act, feeling stuck, unable to decide. I've been all of these things the last few years. I stay in a state between, enduring. I was raised to endurance, to wait things out. It got me through a lot of hard times but it keeps me from risking, from choosing, from reaching for what I want. Like any blessing, it can also be a curse. It seems like I have spent my whole life waiting for the right time, the right place, the right person.

In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Two of Quills is depicted by Jane Fairfax of Emma. On one side of her is Mrs. Elton. This officious woman has found Jane a situation as a governess and is encouraging her to take it. Jane's diminished circumstances mean she has to find employment. She is secretly engaged though and is waiting for that young man to make his move. On the other side of Jane is the young man who has promised himself to her. His aunt would approve this penniless match and the young man is dependent on his aunt for his fortune. He wants Jane to be patient but time is running out and Jane can't keep sitting on the fence. She has to make a move.

What Would Jane Do?

"When you feel you are unable to make a decision that you know both logically and emotionally to be correct, inaction is preferable to action. Decisions based on logic must be lived by someone with a heart, whereas a decision made quickly and emotionally is bound to be repented at leisure. Sooner or later, circumstance will demand that a choice be made, but conditions will inform that decision, so it will be more wisely made." p. 103

May it be so.