February 25, 2010 - The Nine of Cups

Lately I've felt distant, in the world but not quite of it. It's a familiar feeling. I think as a writer you always hang around the edges. That kind of liminal position is just what you need for the observational skills necessary to write, at least in my humble opinion.

Sometimes though you pass through the threshold to the other side. You are not in the world or of it, but ghost, visitor. You haunt but you don't live. I've felt nearly this for a while now, sometimes mustering enough energy to be seen and sometimes heard, but never embodied. I've felt a bit like a dead man walking which might explain my love of zombies.

So what does a ghost do when she pulls the Nine of Cups? This is a card of sensual pleasure, of wishes fulfilled, of satisfaction, smugness even, at what you've accomplished. This card says you are of the physical world and you're getting just hat you want, or will be, so be prepared. Can ghosts savor, relish beauty, make art, make love? Do ghosts dream and can those dreams come true? I feel dead, but I'm still living, loving. I'm in the world and of it and, according to this card at least, pleased as punch at how well things are going. Makes me think feelings may just not be as "real" as I give them credit for being, my end all, be all, the deep, essential truth of me. Maybe they are as ephemeral as thoughts, as quicksilver as gut, here and then gone.

In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Nine of Cups (Teacups) depicts a dinner party at the Weston household in Highbury, the fictional location of the novel Emma. He is pleases as he can be, happy, surrounded by loved ones, a table filled with the good things of life. He has an open, welcoming and happy heart, and when you get this card it implies you do too. You are cordial, gracious, content. Could I be these things as not even know it?

The Nine of Cups is traditionally a card of "wish fulfilled." It is a card of emotional satisfaction, not financial, but it is no guarantee. You wish to be, deserve to be, lucky in love but it's up to you, the recipient, to take the necessary actions to achieve it. For a woman that lately feels death might be a little closer than she would like, here are some words of wisdom: "A healthy diet of love and affection - combined with a lack of financial worry - is the best guarantee of longevity. Add to the regime a healthy appreciation of society and the means to indulge it and you add on a decade to your life. Finally, remove tension by becoming the quintessence of affability and you might well live forever." p. 92