January 8, 2010 - Strength

Gray days bring gray thoughts and step-by-step seems a laborious way to make a journey. I want my guarantee, my happy ending. I want to know where I'm headed; I want to see that pot of gold before I travel to the end of the rainbow. That's not how it works, I know. The longest journey and the shortest one all begin with a single step and as Machado writes: "By walking one makes the road, and upon glancing behind one sees the path...." There is no proof that we'll get what we want. There is only the faith that we'll get what we need.

When I picked the Strength card, I didn't feel any of the gray. I was heading to San Francisco after work to see a friend and have dinner. I was doing something out my comfort zone these days. It was an adventure. Maybe I was strong at last, ready to live my life without clinging to sorrow. By the time I was driving back to Sacramento, I was in tears, deep in the throes of something between a pity party and a tantrum (very unattractive). Ah Strength, the elusive thought we have it, the deeper understanding that true strength is elusive, a process, the same kind of step-by-step journey everything is, or seems to be fore me these days.

Joan Bunning writes: "Card 8 represents this energy of quiet determination. Strength is not a flashy card, but one that is solid and reliable. Card 8 also represents patience and compassion. Getting angry is easy when events turn sour, but dealing calmly with frustration takes great strength. So does accepting others and forgiving mistakes. We need strength to mold situations softly. The Chariot controls through mastery and authority. Card 8 is more subtle, even loving. Notice how the lion (itself a symbol of strength) is being guided and tamed by the woman's gentle hands."

Strength appears in a reading when its qualities are needed. It can be a reminder not to despair or give up. You have the inner strength to endure and triumph. Forewarned is forearmed, they say. Next time this card comes up hopefully I'll be better prepared.

In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Strength card is depicted by Fanny Price and Henry Crawford sitting on the quay. They represent two different kinds of strength, spiritual and physical, both of which exist in us. When it comes up in a reading, it might mean that one is caught in a struggle between the two. This is interesting, for the longing and loss I feel, what I've always thought was spiritual, may be just physical longing, desire, animal pleasure. Hmmm. The card also says to trust your gut. Since my gut is oddly silent these days, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to trust.

What Would Jane Do?

"There's a reason we call upon the physic's science when we become feverish. Before taking action, reflect not with the warmth of passionate desire but the cool, collected wisdom of your intuition and experience. That which we vociferously feel is worth burning for in the moment often results in worthless embers that can not be swept from the grate too soon."