What do I need to know today for the Health and Happiness of my Heart? (There’s more I want to ask, maybe a blueprint of what to do to heal, to find my way to happy. I want a road map and there is only this step by step.)
There are plenty of cards in the suit of swords that strike fear in people. I find I am more sanguine with the sheer despair of the nine of swords, the overkill of the ten. But the three of swords makes my heart ache. It possesses a milagro-like wisdom, like the catholic heart of Jesus wrapped in thorns, pierced by steel. It bespeaks just that kind of pain, the deepest of sorrows, the slow steady seep of tears without beginning or end, not even cleansing, but ache, hurt, throb, pain. I know this card, in its literal broken heart, and its figurative one. I know this card and I don’t hate it, and I don’t fear it. I just bow my head and say “Okay.”
In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Three of Swords (Quills) is represented by Jane Bennett (the Queen of the suit) in a garden bower. She is reading a note that tells her the man she loves, Charles Bingley, has left for London and will more than likely not return. The love she thought reciprocated, remained unspoken, and therefore, she has nothing when he leaves. She doesn’t doubt her own feelings, but she does doubt his and his actions. What seemed like love is no more than maybe, perhaps, certainly nothing to count on. She has given her heart totally and realizes now it might not have been wise. Three swords pierce her, the loss of Bingley, the loss of the belief he cared, and the loss of a bright future. Jane knows what she must do, put him from her heart and move on. It doesn’t mean it won’t be painful. It doesn’t even mean she’ll ever completely forget him, or even stop loving him. She knows though there is no future with him and yet she must go on, and determined, she does.
When this card comes up in a reading, you may be in a situation where it seems that someone you care about does not return your sentiments. Check. “You can fall into a spiral of self-loathing, questioning your behavior and appeal.” Check. You could rationally assess the situation (the suit of swords calls for it) and recognize your worth and beauty are not measured by another’s regard or lack of it. Still working on that. (Can you make half a check?) This seems my critical next step, one that doesn’t take away the sorrow but does leave me open to the possibility of happiness in the future. Completely and continuing to immerse myself in sorrow and loss isn’t productive. It led to a literal broken heart to match my figurative one and 12-inch scar where they cracked me open to fix it. I definitely don’t want to go through that again. Bingley ultimately returns to Jane and they marry and find true happiness but I don’t want to hope for that. Not all of us get that particular happy ending. Jane Austen reminds us there are many happy endings, as varied and variable as the people in her stories.
What Would Jane Do?
“There is no life without setbacks and disappointments, but it is within our power to determine how contented we are with the lives we are given. This is not to say that we should welcome sorrow, simply that it is as much a part of life as joy, and it would be hard to recognize one without the other.” P. 105
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