April 2, 2010 - The Page of Swords

A year out of bypass surgery, I wonder if I've done all I am supposed to, all I need to.  Hippocrates wrote: "A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses."   I've been spending the last year trying to do just that, trying to find a more balanced way of being and trying to let go of the things that no longer serve, that hurt more than heal.  


I asked about one of those things today.  I thought my surgery and recovery would lead to some sort of surety, an end one way or the other.  It was a lot of pressure to put on a year, however transformational.  And of course life is rarely that cut and dried, that black and white.  


In the Tarot, the Pages bring experience and energy, typically through challenges.  They foretell of opportunities for significant growth.  You know, those "afogs" (another f***ing opportunity for growth) we love to say no thank you to but usually don't get the chance to turn down.  The Page of Swords asks you to use your mind, be truthful, be just, demonstrate fortitude.  It asks you to embrace the difficult situations, use your gifts and prevail.  You can prevail.  The Page is that promise.  Use the gifts of the suit of swords -- honesty, reason, integrity and fortitude -- and you will prevail.  


In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Maiden of Quills (the Page of Swords) is depicted by Emma Woodhouse, the heroine of Emma.  Emma is clever, sometimes too clever.  She is smart, but not wise.  She thinks, makes judgments, but they are based on the mind and not her heart.  In fact, for such a smart woman, she is clueless about her own feelings.  She doesn't recognize she's in love with George Knightley until it seems too late.  She has been organizing everyone else's love lives, rather poorly it turns out, and ignoring her own.


I'm not really sure how this all fits my question.  I suspect I have been more smart than wise and much of my suffering the past few years has come from not truly understanding and respecting my own heart.  Like Emma I have been clever but at the risk of losing what I hold most dear.  Hmmmm.  Time to ponder this and if I come to any conclusions, I'll keep you posted.

April 1, 2010 - The Six of Wands

A year ago today I went to the hospital.  By the time I'm writing this, I had gotten the bad news -- that I had five blockages and would need bypass surgery.  It has been a long road from that day.  In some ways it seems only yesterday.  I feel young and new, toddling, hopeful, with so much life still ahead.  In some ways it seems ages ago, the woman I was similar to who I am now in only the most superficial ways.


This was a lovely card to get today, a day celebrated simply with my daughter --shopping, lunch, doing the ordinary things I take for granted.  The Six of Wands is a card of triumph, acclaim and pride.  You have triumphed and prevailed.  You are having your day in the sun.  You are coming out on top.  For someone who felt so low for so long, this is marvelous and comes at the perfect time.


It is also a card of achieving acclaim and recognition.  And you feel pride at what you've accomplished.  Of course pride is slippery, turning easily to hubris.  At this point, I'm not too worried.  There's plenty to keep grounded.  


In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Six of Candlesticks depicts the two heroes of Pride and Prejudice, Charles Bingley and Fitzwilliam Darcy, riding towards the small English manor where Elizabeth Bennett and her sister Jane live.  This is near the end of the novel so the men are eager and anticipating being joined with their beloveds.   Both men, especially Darcy, have experienced growth, particularly spiritual expansion.  When this card comes up in a reading, in says that you have been tempered by not just meeting what life has challenged you with, but exceeding.  You have grown in every way, including spiritually, and you are ready to reap your rewards.  The key is to stay in balance, even with success and triumph.  Don't grow over-proud of your accomplishments.  


I do not always acknowledge accomplishments.  Sometimes, I am so focused on achieving what I want, keeping my eye on the prize, that I forget to be grateful for where I am, how far I've come.  I judge my progress by whether I've reached my destination, not the journey.  I need to remember to be grateful, to enjoy the small things.  Life is so very good.

March 31, 2010 - Six of Cups

More cups.  It's odd to be in a time that seems ripe for pentacles, for lack and loss, for building security, and to have all these promising cards about emotional happiness and love.  If I needed any other reminder that my life is about learning balance, these plentiful cups, these grails, hold out the promise of life's blessings to a thirsty soul.

The Six of Cups is a sweet card and one of my favorites.  It's a card of good will, innocence, and childhood.  It reminds us to act kindly and charitably and to remember how blessed we are.  It asks you to appreciate simple joys, to let yourself feel contentment, to be content.  It's also a playful card, encouraging the reader to feel carefree.  It's a card of small, sweet gestures that are sometimes barely noticed but so important.  It is these small acts of generosity that make up the majority of life's blessings.

In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Six of Teacups depicts Edmund Bertram of Mansfield Park consoling Fanny Price.  In a place of false connections, theirs is a true and real relationship, filled with caring and love.  Edmund values Fanny's loyalty, sincerity, and her affectionate heart.  And Fanny sees in Edmund, her best friend and ultimately gives him her heart.  When this card shows up in a reading, it asks you to look at the emotional bonds in your life.  Are they even?  If not, this card asks you to bring them in balance.  This card also suggests a friendship that can become the foundation of a romantic love.  Such a love will be stronger for the honest intimacy that is the basis for the relationship.  The card can also suggest a rather childish way of viewing a situation.  Edmund holds on to his young feelings for Fanny and never imagines that hers have deepened, or his own.

What Would Jane Do?
"Words of kindness can provide balm in the worse times, deeds of kindness stir the soul, but a combination of the two are an ideal foundation for any relationship." p. 87

How will the Six of Cups manifest in my life?  I'm not sure but I'll keep you posted.

March 3, 2010 - The Four of Wands

On a gray, rainy day in the midst of extensive lay offs, this card arrives like a ray of sunshine. Apparently the Four of Wands is pointing me toward my path to happiness.

The four of Wands is a card of celebration, rejoicing over a happy event, recognizing success and reflecting on accomplishments. It's a card of seeking freedom, getting out of oppressive situations, breaking free of bonds, and letting go of limitations. And it's also a card of feeling excited, relishing the moment, feeling jubilant and surprised. Remember the excitement of the best of birthday parties, the cake coming in alight with candles, your loved ones and friends all around you? Remember that first slow dance with the love of your life, the deep, thrumming thrill of it? That's this card. In a reading, the Four of Wands often refers to a celebratory event or event, the kind that generates excitement. It can also be a card of freedom, of breaking loose, claiming the broad vistas that are yours.

In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Four of Candlesticks depicts the marriages of Jane Bennett and Charles Bingley and Elizabeth Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy. It speaks of a celebration, but a lasting one. If you're asking about a relationship (I wasn't), then it might indicate a new, more stable phase of it, increased seriousness. Those four wands speak of stability, a completion and new beginning. It's a lovely card although I'm not really sure what it means for me. Is it time to reach for freedom? Is a celebration coming? Are relationships deepening to something more stable? What is my more perfect union? I guess we'll see.