I will say, like many I know, I am in the midst of transformation. I am unfolding and have no idea where I'm headed. I joked to a friend tonight I should don a permanent sign, Under Construction. I may be 52, but I'm still becoming.
So what does it mean when the Queen of Wands comes for a visit? Court cards can refer to particular people who embody the traits, in this case, an attractive, wholehearted, energetic, cheerful and self-assured being. They can also suggest a particular environment or atmosphere that would be good for you or one you should try to cultivate. Maybe these are qualities you need to embody. Or perhaps, they are qualities you have but don't recognize. The key with court cards, I'm finding, is just to listen.
I have come over the years to like this Queen of Fire. My she is self-assured. I am growing into that, in some ways, and in others still I'm still lacking. She is described as appealing and popular. It is said she creates a powerful first impression. These are not words I would use to describe myself, although maybe it's time I learned. I'm thinking maybe the Queen is telling me to shake off my blues and adopt a sunnier disposition. She is encouraging me to let my light shine and to know myself beautiful inside and out. I once had a dream of woman growing lighter, brighter as she became herself and by the end she was so bright and so beautiful, I didn't care about the rest of the dream, I only wanted to be just like her, my soul clear and shining, bright and beautiful, myself completely. I think I am heading there, slowly but surely.
Those of you who have been reading my blogs know I've been working with the Jane Austen Tarot. It seems to be a gentle, hopeful deck, the perfect deck for me these days. In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Queen of Wands (Lady of Candlesticks) is Elizabeth Bennett, the heroine of Pride and Prejudice. At the beginning of the novel, Lizzie is the Maiden. Time though, and experience her burnish her into the Lady. The Queen cards in tarot suggest that the strengths of the suit have been embodied. Elizabeth doesn't just act out the attributes of integrated wands, she embodies them.
There was a time when I wanted to be Elizabeth Bennett. Vivacious, self-possessed, smart, pretty, observant, with a quick wit, she was the best I could imagine to be. She had a honoring connection with her father. Her relationship with her mother was exasperated but accepting, even loving in its way. She found love and companionship, respectful and passionate. He was her equal and she his. That was my dream of love, maybe still is. Nowadays, I have more in common with Anne Elliot of Persuasion, Austen's only older and wiser heroine, her last. Anne is nearly past hope, nearly an Old Maid, and yet there's a part of her that still hopes, that blossoms like a flower when that hope is sparked.
But today, it's Elizabeth Bennett and maturing into a wise and warm Lady of Candlesticks. She still inspires me, this Queen of Wands. And I still find there's a part of me that dreams of Elizabeth Bennett and her happily ever after.
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