January 20, 2011 - The Six of Wands

The Six of Wands is a card of triumph, acclaim, and pride.  It is the minor arcana counterpart of the Chariot.  When this card shows up in a reading, you have been working hard toward a goal and success is within reach.  The thing is, I asked my usual question, "What do I need to know today, that will help me move along my path toward my higher good?"  Of course there's always a subtext, even to these general questions.  There are yearnings and hopes, joys and sorrows, regrets, all of us have a few.  So how to tease out what is the battle, what is the victory?  I should be celebrating, but why?  And maybe it doesn't matter, the what and the why, but knowing that there is struggle and success, that the wheel turns and turns and turns.

Sometimes in Tarot the answers are unclear.  Usually that is because the question is unclear although I think there is something in Tarot like there is in the Runes, the blank Rune that says it's in hands of the gods and only they can know for now.  It is a fated point.  Maybe this is where I am, or maybe I do know. Or maybe it is all just wishful thinking.

If you're confused about a card, you can restate your question, or clarify it, and then choose another card.  This I did and received the Lovers.  The Lovers is a card about relationships.  It is also a card of choices.  I think I know what the battle is, but I still don't know what success and triumph means.  I have hopes, sure, but they're just future and fantasy.  Since my heart surgery, I'm a lot more present tense, more content to let triumph unfold, to see the future unfold, not to project my desires.

Tarot can give clear enough answers, in the beginning.  As you work with it longer, the answers grow deeper, more multi-faceted.  I think for me, I've been working with it long enough that we've become old friends in a deep conversation.  Which means I'm going to wait and see what comes.

January 18, 2011 - The Queen of Wands

Sometimes I have burning questions that I ask the Tarot. Sometimes I have burning questions I don't ask the Tarot.  And sometimes, I don't yet have a specific question and so I just ask for guidance, which is what I did tonight.

I will say, like many I know, I am in the midst of transformation.  I am unfolding and have no idea where I'm headed.  I joked to a friend tonight I should don a permanent sign, Under Construction.  I may be 52, but I'm still becoming.

So what does it mean when the Queen of Wands comes for a visit? Court cards can refer to particular people who embody the traits, in this case, an attractive, wholehearted, energetic, cheerful and self-assured being.  They can also suggest a particular environment or atmosphere that would be good for you or one you should try to cultivate.  Maybe these are qualities you need to embody.  Or perhaps, they are qualities you have but don't recognize.  The key with court cards, I'm finding, is just to listen.

I have come over the years to like this Queen of Fire.  My she is self-assured.  I am growing into that, in some ways, and in others still I'm still lacking.  She is described as appealing and popular.  It is said she creates a powerful first impression.  These are not words I would use to describe myself, although maybe it's time I learned.  I'm thinking maybe the Queen is telling me to shake off my blues and adopt a sunnier disposition.  She is encouraging me to let my light shine and to know myself beautiful inside and out.  I once had a dream of woman growing lighter, brighter as she became herself and by the end she was so bright and so beautiful, I didn't care about the rest of the dream, I only wanted to be just like her, my soul clear and shining, bright and beautiful, myself completely.  I think I am heading there, slowly but surely.

Those of you who have been reading my blogs know I've been working with the Jane Austen Tarot.  It seems to be a gentle, hopeful deck, the perfect deck for me these days.  In the Jane Austen Tarot, the Queen of Wands (Lady of Candlesticks) is Elizabeth Bennett, the heroine of Pride and Prejudice.  At the beginning of the novel, Lizzie is the Maiden.  Time though, and experience her burnish her into the Lady.  The Queen cards in tarot suggest that the strengths of the suit have been embodied.  Elizabeth doesn't just act out the attributes of integrated wands, she embodies them.

There was a time when I wanted to be Elizabeth Bennett.  Vivacious, self-possessed, smart, pretty, observant, with a quick wit, she was the best I could imagine to be.  She had a honoring connection with her father.  Her relationship with her mother was exasperated but accepting, even loving in its way.  She found love and companionship, respectful and passionate.  He was her equal and she his.  That was my dream of love, maybe still is.  Nowadays, I have more in common with Anne Elliot of Persuasion, Austen's only older and wiser heroine, her last.  Anne is nearly past hope, nearly an Old Maid, and yet there's a part of her that still hopes, that blossoms like a flower when that hope is sparked.

But today, it's Elizabeth Bennett and maturing into a wise and warm Lady of Candlesticks.  She still inspires me, this Queen of Wands.  And I still find there's a part of me that dreams of Elizabeth Bennett and her happily ever after.

November 27, 2010 - Judgement

When a Major Arcana card comes up in a reading, you're supposed to pay attention.  It means that whatever is happening is transformational, life-changing, important for your path.  Since I don't always articulate questions when I pull a card (of course there is always the unstated, I'm realizing more and more, things left unspoken but not, it seems, unvisited), it gives me a bit of wiggle room when trying to figure it out.  At least that's what I tell myself.

The scene depicted on the Judgement card is Judgement Day.  The angel of the Lord is calling forth the dead.  Those that are worthy will rise to heaven and those that are not ....  Well, let's just say most organized religions urge you not to be found unworthy.  I never quite know how I feel when this card comes up.  Sometimes judgment is necessary.  You have to commit yourself and decide.  Sometimes we are judged, fairly and unfairly.  It is a card of salvation.  The past is forgiven and you receive your just rewards.  It would be nice if we made it through life without mistakes, without hurting people, without being less than what we are and what we can be.  It's nice to know that we can be forgiven those trespasses and have our fresh start.

So what does it mean when this card comes up in a reading  Well, it can mean a day of reckoning is at hand.  It may also mean that all the waffling has to stop; that a decision needs to be made and stuck with.  I'm big on waffling.  I don't end things well, especially when I don't want things to end.  Sometimes though you do have to end things.  I keep wondering if Judgement shows up to remind me of the things that are lingering, the ones I haven't taken care of.  Another aspect of the card is salvation and redemption.  It could mean that it's time for a fresh start and that a fresh start is possible.  It could signal a time of renewed hope as well as a time to discover joy.  That would be nice, the renewed hope and discovering joy part.

In the Jane Austen Tarot, this card depicts the characters of Jane Austen's novel, Emma - Emma and Mr. Knightley; Mrs. Weston; Mr. Woodhouse; and Harriet Smith.  By the end of the book, each of these characters is ready for transformation, for the next level in his or her development.  George Knightley and Emma are deeply in love and engaged to be married; Mr. Woodhouse, a man who dreads change, is contemplating accepting it for his daughter's sake and his own.  Harriet Smith, a young woman of unknown parentage, has fallen in love multiple times and fallen out of it just as easily, and at last finds herself back where she started, with a proposal from Robert Martin.  Mrs. Weston, Emma's old governess, has married a gentleman and is expecting her first child.  Her life has changed and is going to change again from wife to mother.

What I like about the pairing of this novel and the card is how it demonstrates something critical about this card.  Transformation requires action of us.  Each of these characters had to make a choice, a judgment, and then act on it.  Fate didn't drop a happy ending in his or her lap.  Each of them had to act, to know what he or she wanted, and work towards it, trusting it would come.  This is the lesson I am taking from the Judgement card today.

November 26, 2010 - The Lady of Coins (Queen of Pentacles)

Another court card; so what else is new. When court cards appear certain character traits are highlighted. In the case of the Queen of Pentacles you are talking about someone who is down-to-earth, nurturing, bighearted, resourceful and trustworthy.  Are these me?  Or are these qualities I need to embody?  Perhaps this is the atmosphere I need to create?  Or maybe this is someone in my life.  The court cards are funny that way.  People wrestle with them, trying to figure them out.  At least I wrestle with them, trying to figure them out.

Since my time at Pacifica, I see them more as examples of Jung's typology.  Jung believed that as we individuate we become more and more able to embody typological aspects that are not our more natural fits.  Introverts become more extroverted, feelers can access their thinking function.

So what about Queen of Pentacles?  She came on a family day when I was making a home Thanksgiving.  It was a typical day with good and bad, highs and lows, ease and worry.  My dog had eaten something bad and ended up sick.  I could have over-reacted but remained calm and competent, caring but not crazed.   The Queen of Pentacles is the kind of woman you want around when you are in trouble, hurt, fearful, worried.  I hope I'm that kind of woman too, when I need to be.   I think was the day this card arrived, meaning I was as I needed to be, but larger lessons?  I'm just not sure.  I guess I'll keep drawing cards and maybe someday the court cards will make sense to me.  Until then, it's time to get the stock started, check on the dog, and try out that recipe with my daughter.  I think that's what the Queen of Pentacles would do at any rate

November 24, 2010 - The Lord of Candlesticks (King of Wands)

The court cards of each suit in the Tarot reflect mastery of the attributes of the suit, from the idealized optimism of the page to the mastery and expression of the king.  Wands represent the element of fire.  It is a suit of creativity, self- expression, entrepreneurship, and originality.  When the King arrives in a reading, fire of fire, get ready.  Here is someone who is honest, forthright, knows what he wants, and reaches out to make it happen.  He is bold, daring, and confident.  He has the courage of his convictions and always believes in himself.

So what does the King of Wands mean for me today?  My question was not really a question, asked but not really asked after receiving an email from someone who has meant the world to me, perhaps still does, and has hurt my heart more often than I can count.  It was a nice enough email, one that a even a year ago, might have made me happy, hopeful, but now brings a shrug and a wondering, 'so.'  I can tell you I don't feel one bit like the King of Wands.  There's no way I'm the center of attention, forceful in the pursuit of my goals, confident, a natural leader, bold and daring.  Creative, sure, but the rest?  The email reminds me of all I'm not, and then the King of Wands arrives to encourage me to be creative, inspiring, forceful, charismatic and bold.  Can I be the King of Wands?  Looks like I'm going to have to try.

November 23, 2010 - The Ten of Pentacles

Given that I was up early with money worries, selecting this card seems a bit ironic.  In the Tarot, tens take the culmination of the nines and kick it up to the next level.  You will find in the Tarot that as numbers repeat (e.g. 1 - The Magician; 10 - The Wheel of Fortune, and 20 - Judgment), you get different vibrations of a similar theme.  The tens of the minor arcana echo The Wheel, with two of the tens (swords and wands) reflecting more negative fortunes while the other two (cups and pentacles), reflect more positive results.

Pentacles represent the element of earth.  The suit is often referred to as "coins" and so it has to do with material gain and success.  If you look at the card, you can see times are good.  The couple is well dressed.  The patriarch looks on in comfort, his red robes luxurious.  Money is in the air.  Just looking at the card suggests the ultimate in worldly and material success.  If you are asking about your latest enterprise, this is the card you want to see.

The Ten of Pentacles is about enjoying affluence, being free from money problems, feeling financially secure.  It suggests you might be in the midst of a run of good luck and your material ventures will flourish.  Because pentacles represent the element of earth, they also refer to building foundations and following conventions. The Ten of Pentacles is about traditions, seeking permanence and success within the establishment.  This is a status quo card.  The key with the Ten of Pentacles is the understanding that to everything there is a season, a time to flow with change and a time to build foundations that will last.  We need both to be successful in this life, foundation and flow, foundation and flow.

So what does it mean to pick this card on a day when I woke up too early with money worries?  I think it means to create a firm foundation, to trust but to work for my financial security, to create a plan and then stick to it.  Now maybe it means too I will be free of money problems, in a happy way.  That's great, but I need to do my part.  If God helps those that help themselves, then I better get cracking.  If I do, maybe I'll get some sleep : )

November 22, 2010 - The World

The World is the last card of the Major Arcana.  If the twenty-two cards of the Major Arcana represent the path of life, our human journey from the Fool's leap to culmination, then the World is this perfect end, the thanksgiving feast before we begin again.  When it comes up in a reading, it's a good card.  It's the kind of card you hope to get, telling you you've integrated, accomplished, reached your goal.  This is the "Miller Time" card and yet why don't I feel better about it?

My question was the usual, "What do I need to know?" although at the care there is another pressing issue, this idea of moving on, of mastering the lessons of illness and death, of dwindling time and the need to make the most of it.  I will admit to being a bit obsessed, especially since my dad's death, with "getting" what lessons I need to and "getting" on with life.  I so want to see things in this black and white even though one of the lessons of the last few years has been shades of gray.

As those of you who read this blog know, I've been working with the Jane Austen Tarot.  Every deck has its particular philosophy, and I resonate with Jane Austen - the relational focus, the pithy observations, and a world where connections and love drive our stories.  Relating cards to stories has made it easier for me to understand the essence of certain cards even as I understand I am viewing the Tarot through a particular lens and bias.  Another year and I might find myself taken with another deck; but for now, since many of my questions seem to be relational, this is the deck for me.

So back to the World.  In the Rider-Waite deck we have a woman placed at the center of an oval.  Now this figure is sometimes represented as an androgyne, a being both male and female, representing wholeness.  This is reflected again by the oval, perhaps a laurel wreath, signifying triumph and being at the height of one's craft/field.  In each of the four corners is a representation of each of the directions/elements, suggesting that with this card, we have mastered and are reflecting every element within us.  Notice how the figure dances, light as a feather, perfectly balanced although never touching the ground.  With this card then, we have achieved balance.  Looking just at the imagery then, you don 't need to open a book to find the meaning.  It's clear by just looking at the card.  The tarot is often like this.  You just have to begin to think symbolically.

Now let's get back to where I am, which is holding this amazing card and not feeling the least bit amazing myself.  Do I feel whole, integrated, myself at last?  Yes, but it is not a static process, at least for me.  It is a constant becoming so even as I dance lightly in the air, I know I will take that step off the cliff, like the Fool, and begin again.  In fact, I want to, not because I enjoy the fall as much as I know that life is to be lived and that every equinox tips us this way and that, depending.  Do I feel accomplished?  This is a card, after all, of realizing your goals, of prospering, of seeing your dreams come true.  Yes, but each goal seems to lead to another goal and while I may be flourishing, I am still working on achieving my heart's desires.  The World is also a card of healing and sharing what you have, of giving of yourself, of being fully engaged.  Well, I am fully engaged, that's for sure, although that is not always a comfortable thing.  And as for being fulfilled, savoring he moment and counting my blessings, well that to is ongoing.  I tend to focus on what I don't have as opposed to what I do.  Thank goodness this is the season of thanksgiving and thankfulness, encouraging me to go against my grain.

The thing about Tarot is that maybe you're going to get a definitive answer, but it's always going to be something you already knew if you paid attention to your own sure, still voice instead of giving in to the endless chatter inside your head and out.  Mostly though, you're going to get reminders, and the cards are going to make you stop and think and perhaps, at last, understand yourself.  When you act, you will act consciously and perhaps realizing for the first time why you are where you are and what you have to do if you want to find yourself some where different.  And maybe you don't want to be anywhere different.  Maybe you're happy just where you are and that's good to know too.  Then you can savor the moment, count your blessings and find some contentment.